If you know me, you know that I love expanding my mind as far reaching as it can possibly go. So, back in 2015 I had the opportunity to see what psilocybin was all about. As an artist and overall obsessor of my own imagination I was truly excited and open to what ever experience I had awaiting me.
After years of battling what I know now as depression (not in the clinical sense, but brought on from experiencing a life full of hardship and poverty in the hood, where you learn about death before you learn about stock options and how to start a business.) the struggle was real nonetheless. I’d been seeking an experience that would let me know that all of the pain and suffering would be worth it–with these magic lil fellas in hand, this was my chance.
This will sound a little bit crazy, and that’s because it totally is (LOL); for my first time I took a whole eighth, at home, alone! I had carefully prepped for this a few weeks in advance, because I wanted to be ready for anything. When I say it was a life altering experience, the english language is just not enough. After 35-minutes things began to take full effect, and I went from “what in the entire fuck have I done” to “fuck it, its too late for an anxiety attack”. Fortunately I allowed myself to let go and was able to let it flow. Before I knew it I had fallen infinitely inside of myself. I’d looked over to a beaming sun spot shining on the carpet in my room, it began to pulsate as if to call my attention. I’d walked over to it, and the warmth of the sun began to shower me with the warmest-loving-light I had ever experienced. It was almost like I had always been in this warm-love-light, like forever, as if my life here didn’t really exist, and that all that there ever was was warm-loving-light serenading me infinitely. It was so insane! Time also folded in on itself and did not exist so there is no telling how long I’d enjoyed my sunspot, but it was long enough to be drenched in sweat. The feeling was incredible! Every time the sun moved to a different spot I’d crawl to it. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror–looking strange as fuck, with third-eyes and sacred geometry all over my face and body. And, all of a sudden I began to merge with the light. I saw my body disintegrate into the light as if the light and I were becoming one, and it also felt that way too, not only could I see it in the mirror, but I felt my body disappear, and all that was left was my consciousness. The feeling lasted for quite a while before my body started to feel its self again, my breathing and heartbeat completely slowed, just enough to be physically alive, yet not enough to be fully in my body. It made me realize that my consciousness was content with separation, it was free to travel while my body was in eternal bliss. Talk about an outta body experience, that shit was hella LIT (LOL)!
Anyway, it lasted about 8-hours, with the visuals gradually descending in complexity toward the later end of the experience–from about 8:30am to no visuals around 5pm. When I came back it was like looking at everything for the first time ever, every single thing that existed seemed so precious and beautiful. The after glow was fantastic, and lasted almost 3 weeks, which is great because it was like nothing would bother me. I felt constantly grateful for everything, and all I wanted to do was show everyone love, and be in the sun. Of course there was way more I could mention about my first 8-hour mind travel journey, but the merging with the light was definitely a major highlight, and I know I’ll remember it forever.